So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
