How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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