There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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