i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
