she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
