I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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