please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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