yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
