She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize