You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Two words: nipple clamps
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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