that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Be still, my beating vagina.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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