Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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