If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
