4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
