Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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