I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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