oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
