My liver just broke up with me...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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