If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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