Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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