Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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