Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My liver just had a heart attack.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
