Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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