i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Randomize
