I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
