do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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