Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
