You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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