like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
