its not stalking. its research.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
