During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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