I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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