His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
