I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
