I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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