We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
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just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
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Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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