why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
NoShamevember. You game?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
