So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
