I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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