do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
