There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just pee around me
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
