Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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