this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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