I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
