i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i came on her dog
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
