at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
