So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
