oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
