Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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