there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
