O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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