Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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