she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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