maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
