I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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