That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
