if i can run in heels then i can drive
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
even my farts smell like vagina
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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