i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
how drunk are you?
Several
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
