im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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