when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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