piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So much rum. So many feels.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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