He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
