Dual....:-)
so that wasnt chicken after all
I cockslap morals
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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