actually, I'm a sock model
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
