I want to have your abortion
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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