Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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